walking the fine line between tredy and dude

so that's what i did today. this and getting on the bone marrow registry list. i'm all fancy and shit. i'm actually terrified that my hair is shorter than barry's BUT IT'S COOL.

the only news fit to print is actually a video you should watch. http://vimeo.com/3895378 check that shit out. it's the video we made for campus movie fest. WHO KNEW BEAR COULD ACT!? no one. but we know now!

this blog entry was fail and a half but i feel sick. no worries children. maybe i'll be cooler tomorrow but don't hold your breathe.

HI GRAM!

where'd she go?

did you miss me? of course you did. you cried into your oatmeal and had buckets and buckets of tears. enough to fill a red plastic beach pail or a green watering can used to make mud pies and other such undesirable food products.

i went away for a while boys and girls because dear miss caitlin was a sick little girl. she thrashed and fought and then gave into the ebbs of her sorrow. on march fifteen at 10:42 pm all of the strings holding together the package that was my life gave way to strain and i was escorted to the emergency room. i was admitted the next night after a hilarious day in the er and was a resident of 406 deaconess aka the ever dreaded psych ward.

and that is where i was. doesn't it sound horribly exciting?! tune in tomorrow and i'll explain the rest. we are babystepping this bitch.

the seventh day or, it's okay! you just have overwhelming irrational fears!

the seventh day of the twentieth year

what did learn today?

that sometimes you need a push to get back to yourself. below is a link that i wrote for my friend jenny's story 'sanctuary.' turns out that amelia decided to play a little trick and got us to review each other's works and post it on the same day. the little minx. 'echo' is my piece. i was grinning ear to ear like an idiotic fool and as a result i'm finally back to my writing. HUZZAH!

http://discerningficster.blogspot.com/20

09/03/guestficrec-when-love-is-mutual-you-get.html


that nice weather in the northeast is an illusion. see that snow? see it?! see my photos from yesterday?! IT WENT FROM BEING FIFTY AND LOVELY TO TWENTY SIX AND SNOWING! NO

oh! OH OH OH! ps. while taking this photo, the doors shut on me and i dropped my camera inside the train. my being stuck allowed three other people to catch their train. they said thanks with smiles even though they knew it was entirely unintentional. i turned six shades of red, but i think it was worth it.


that dragging yourself out of bed to go to the shrinks isn't ten pounds of fun. i've been in an out of therapy for the better part of five years. my new shrink has a toupe and is a fidget. he's was the first to tell me that it's not my fault that my thoughts dwell in negative places. that it takes years to break that habit. for the first time i don't feel like a broken china doll, never to be repaired without visable cracks. i think i'm just a puzzle that was hastily put together the wrong way. i can be fixed. maybe. doesn't mean i like to admit that something is wrong with me, but such is the human condition.


dear girl in pink jumpsuit at north station, thank you for being a spot of color against a backdrop of gray boston. signed, grateful no-longer-teen in the gray hat.


that running into your boyfriend in the elevator is one of lifes small pleasure that i need to learn to enjoy more often.


that twenty dollar wall decals from ikea! are damn near close to idiot proof. that bear has the exact same sense of compostion that i do. that it's scary when he's in my head, but that it has grown rather cozy like that.

the sixth day or, you're going to order two breakfasts again aren't you?

the sixth day of the twentieth year

what did we learn today?


that waking up to this is how i want to spend more of my days than i care to admit.


that i used to take photos for the sake of enjoying it, and that it's time to get back to that. i don't want to fritter away a skill i spent five years fostering. i want to dust off the old film camera and get back to my roots. i want to smell dextrose on my fingers. i want to boil negatives in salt water just to see what will happen. i want to photograph strangers and their children. i want to break into that old amusement park and shoot until my fingers cannot click any longer. stay tuned as this develops. HA! pun. i got you. i got you.


that my neck is incredibly long and my head is incredibly small but i like them, because you don't have them.


that lightening can destroy your favorite hammock tree, but that you can't get angry because you know it was meant to happen. in some strange way, you know nothing could have been done to stop it, and that it was just it's time to go.


that despite being broken in two, buds will bloom.


that this house will be around long after i'm dead and ashed, and that is wonderful. i want to carve my name under the deck so toby's grandchildren will one day find it and wonder who i was and why i was there.


and last but not least, that the barn can service private functions. i now want a breakfast themed wedding. bear is not on board. balderdash!

the fifth day or, running away is always an option

the fifth day of the twentieth year

what did we learn today? that everything eventually catches up to you in the end and you're better off just taking care of it when it first appears. or you can run away to westport.


everybody likes sushi on the beach. everybody. especially when it's fifty degrees.


when did one of my favorite places become a beach in new england? who am i? really? but can you blame me? the one thing i don't understand is all the rocks. where the hell did all of these rocks come from? is there some demented easter bunny depositing rocks instead of eggs? not cool hoppy st.tail. not cool at all.


julia, we ate chili in your bedroom. then we jumped on the bed. DON'T TELL MOM!!


the friendly's in dartmouth is the most mismanaged chain restaraunt i've ever been in. white trashy people serving cheap and tasty food. this is not a winning combination. you think it would be all buttercups and lollipops, but it is not.


and the ice cream was not as good as previously touted. I WAS SO LET DOWN FRIENDLY'S. never again. never again.

i apologize for being boring. i promise that next week i'll do something more interesting. but i probably won't.

the fourth day or, your hands smell like bleach

the fourth day of the twentieth year

what did we learn today? that it is bad to put off bathroom cleaning. that oreos and pudding are a delicious breakfast. that my fridge will never keep my milk quite cold enough. that snuggling up with your pillows and watching the simpsons is a day well spent. that jon peters needs to die in a fire.

i didn't do too much, and i sort of regret it, but it's the last day of my break and tomorrow i go back to the grind. tomorrow i finish writing. tomorrow we go to westport to take care of odds and ends. and what do you know, it's 1:03 so it is tomorrow.


i have dyed my hair ever few months since my senior year of high school. what started out as an experiment with katie in steven's basement snowballed into a hilarious way to spend half an hour every few weeks. this round we went with auburn.


i think it worked.

the third day or, the fattest dr. manhattan ever

the third day of the twentieth year

i slept. i woke. i watchmened. and all was well.

my most lovely friend bethany was supposed to come see the movie with us last night but she got horribly ill so dana came with us instead. all i could do was buy her a mcflurry, so hopefully that frozen delight brought her some comfort before the sinus infection ravaged away the inside of her brain pan.

there are only two pictures today because i didn't think you'd want to see a photo of me laying in bed. or riding the train. or eating in a hospital cafeteria. or buying a doormat. but maybe i'm wrong. maybe my pouring draino-max gel is exciting. maybe clipping my fingernails gets you hot and heavy. but that's enough of the musing. next time i'll take the photo of the cashier attempting in vain to roll up the heavy plastic mat. i did have a slight giggle, but i'm not sure strangers like having their photos taken. we shall see.



i'm pretty sure i liked it, but gods damn was that sex scene unintentionally hilarious. seriously. leonard cohen had no place there, unlike malin's tits, which were rockin'.

dana cannot be photographed. it is scientifically impossible.